sad day

I think Evan has a cold. Yesterday he sounded funny and today it has gotten worse. His cries sound lower and hoarse and he's been crying more often and for longer. So sad. Plus I had a hard day at work and a meeting during lunch, and then had to stay at work for an hour past normal, and I really felt badly for not coming home on time to play with Evan. I feel like I am a doing Evan a big injustice for not being able to come home on time and be with him, though I am also aware that of course I try to be on time and sometimes things just happen. Why is guilt such a big part of being a mommy? (and why is guilt not built into being a daddy?) I let days like this get to me. When I'm already feeling badly, then nothing is tolerable and my coping skills just seem to disappear. I take a bad day and make it worse, for myself and for everybody that has to deal with me (my poor husband).

Kyle just brought me a delicious white nectarine. Yummy. My husband loves me still even through all this emotional baggage. I need therapy!